Tuesday, July 26, 2011
3rd Grade Abduction
Thinking back to my younger days now at the age of adulthood I realize just how friggen' weird I was as a kid- straight up obscure. But then I think, maybe we all start out super strange and get it out of our systems prior to actually needing to function in our higher education and work systems...well most of us do anyway. So my childhood weird isn't really bizarre at all, it's simply unique to me and made me into the neat, little, peculiar adult package I am today.
I have one particular incident that lasted the duration of my grammar school 3rd grade that I believe takes the cake for my abnormal childhood behavior.
It started off as a simple fib to my best friend at the time: I was actually the descendant of a royal alien family and was sent down to Earth to check the place out because I was the princess of my planet and that's just what needed to happen at that time. Surprise! I'm not quite sure at which point my pal became my accomplice but she just did. It was eventually assumed that we were both actually aliens and had similar missions. No wonder we were bffs. I still wonder if she knew in her 3rd grade mind that I was pretending and wanted to play along and we just kind of had this unspoken agreement that for now this was real life and we could hoot and holler about it when we were old and boring or if she actually thought I was a princess and wanted to get on my good side so I wouldn't smite her with my alien powers. Who knows.
So this little role playing game we had taken a liking to soon grew into a venture that included all of our 3rd grade class. Yup, all of 3rd grade knew my bud and I were aliens- we had them eating out of the palms of our alien tentacle hands.
I went so far as to come up with this little trick of rubbing an especially lead-y pencil all over the under-side of my desk then would proceed to rub my arms along the then pencil-stricken desk bottom. The result would leave me with shiny, silver skin condition-y looking arms.
Gasp! Oh dear me there must be a glitch in my human form device!! I'm morphing back into my alien form!!!!
Oh excuse me Mrs. Francisco, may I please use the restroom facilities?? It's urgent.
Cue me running out of the classroom half-heartedly trying to cover my hideous alien arms and sniffling back a few hurriedly whipped up tears to show just how distraught my situation was.
The classroom would break out into whispers:
Shmmmhhmmmshhh thatsthealiengirl shmmsh hushhhh she'sturningbacktohertrueform shmmhhh
NONE OF THEM UNDERSTOOD!!!
Another trick up the ol' sleeve I had involved a wee blue alien stuffed animal dubbed Comet that my father had won for me at the local arcade. I somehow figured out how to pass off make-shift magic tricks as alien magic- making Comet disappear (usually just under my armpit hidden in my shirt sleeve). So everyone knew Comet as my little alien friend from home that was paralyzed but that I cared very much about and that I would periodically send back to our home planet for check-ups (poor, ill thing).
Between my human form transmitter acting up and my little friend being able to disappear whenever I wanted, the 3rd grade was convinced of my alien status. I eventually pushed the limit wondering how far I could take this whole alien royalty thang. I told every friend I had- including my band mates (my fellow Glitter Girls) needless to say we scored some major song writing inspiration from my adventures abroad the solar systems. Until one day I told the wrong friend. I told one of my rather religious friends who happened to be uber close with her earthling mom. She told her mom and the mom got all concerned that I was messing with the devil. Oh come now party poop mom, let me have my fun. But my fun was not had and my alien escapade was no more. Summer between 3rd and 4rth grade came and people either forgot that I was an alien or all of them gained a hand-full of collective brain cells and realized that their classmate was actually not from another planet. Whichever one no one ever asked me about it so who knows. I WAS YOUNG AND IN THIRD GRADE- I WAS RECKLESS.
I learned a lot about acting, specifically character development, that year. I know, I'm just as shocked as you that I didn't turn out to be a pathological liar or that weird 20-year-old who still has imaginary friends, but here I am just moderately quirky- nothing more.